Myths & Truths About Marriage
Mark Twain once said, “Your problems are not what you don't know about. They are from what you are absolutely sure of, when in fact you are mistaken.” When it comes to modern marriages, the classic quote is still relevant. Where do mythical ideas about love and family life come from? From movies, friends, and literary works. These influences create fertile ground for the growth of mythical beliefs.
Myths lead to disappointment in family life and quarrels between spouses. This section will help you understand this issue. Mark Twain also said, “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” This applies to couples in marriages as well. Your greatest fan and encourager should be your spouse.
Myth 1: Love is all you need for a happy marriage.
Love is undoubtedly a critically important component of happy family life, but far from being the only one. Most couples believe that love will endure everything, but this is not so. That wonderful love bubble you and your spouse are enjoying can be eroded and chipped away from you leaving despondence, despair, and depression in its place.
Marriage is an art that you need to learn every day, thereby increasing as well as protecting your love. Solomon wrote, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” A person’s heart filled with love and joy will be poured out onto the people around them. Protect yourself from caustic or negative influencers.
A happy relationship requires more than just love. The basic skills like communication, conflict resolution, empathy, sensitivity, and love language awareness you mastered earlier are just as important as love. Love will hold your relationship together, but that love must be nurtured and protected by exercising your relationship skills.
Myth 2: Living together before the wedding is the key to a strong marriage.
According to Yale University, those who move in together before marriage are twice as likely to separate. When living together before marriage, people are not so demanding of each other, but if they still end up in marriage, everything can change - and for one of the partners it will come as a surprise. Statements like, “I married the wrong woman or man with whom I lived all these years ... " Legally being married changes everything.
Our culture teaches that cohabitation helps marital stability. While this may reflect a growing change in how people move from single to married, in reality, it is a divorce trap. Despite changing norms and perceptions, premarital cohabitation still appears to be a risk factor for divorce (Rosenfeld & Roesler, 2019). Across all years examined in this study, the odds of divorce were 1.31 times higher for women who cohabitated prior to marriage. Don’t doom your marriage for failure.
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