‹ Back

Once upon a time, an ancient sage noticed and brought this truth to the world. Among the world’s most mysterious and incomprehensible miracles, the most mysterious and incomprehensible is the path of a man to the heart of a woman, and the path of a woman to the heart of a man. On this path, a sacrament is performed, and real miracles occur.  This miracle causes the whole world to magically change for everyone who suddenly fell in love. Colors become brighter, sounds are louder and more distinct, and people are kinder and more welcoming.

 

This miracle occurs because love itself breathed life into every blade of grass, the breeze of air, a ray of the sun, and even a rainbow in the sky. After all, having fallen in love, a person’s sensitivity heightens, their eyes see more sharply, and their heart opens wider to absorb the beauty and goodness around them. This is especially noticeable in youth when waiting for this miracle to occur.

 

 

 

How can the human heart be filled with love? The Bible says that the “love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit”. (Romans 5:5 NKJV) This is an individual, spiritually driven filling of love that transcends bias or motivation. It is simply a gift from God. However, for a lover, how is one person able to obscure the whole world and fill it like space or the universe?  Writing a lot about love’s ups and downs, the French writer Stendhal described love as a kind of earthly feeling. He said, “To love means to experience pleasure when you see, touch, feel with all your senses at the closest possible distance the creature that you love and that loves you”. 

 

Fontenelle spoke more sublimely about love: "Love is the most morning of feelings."  But each person experiencing this strong feeling experiences it in their own way. Love has no recipes, no rules.  Similarly, human feelings are changeable, they either fade, then flare up again. They are contradictory and fickle.  Probably, patience and understanding in love are more significant than passion and intensity of feelings.  In any case, love is more durable.  No wonder people say: “To love means to understand, and to be loved means to be understood.”

 

Where is Romance?

 

To find out where romance is, we must first understand what romance is. Romance is an integral part of love, and love, in turn, is one of the most important human feelings. For some, romance is flowers and a candlelight dinner with a loved one. In our opinion, romance is about feelings, emotions, and a state of mind. It's something emotionally valuable. Despite different opinions about what romance is, everyone will agree that romance makes our lives brighter, and better, and adds new sensations and colors.

 

A romantic person sees romance in almost everything. Even a simple walk through a forested park can turn into a warm romantic trip. They hear everything. The singing of birds, the murmuring of a river, the rustling of leaves - all these sounds fascinate and resonate in the soul of a romantic. Love makes a person romantic. Such a person changes and is always ready to take on challenging deeds for the sake of their soulmate. A man in love becomes dreamy and attentive to trifles, and his imagination knows no bounds.

 

Today, movies, and books also help to create a romantic atmosphere. The relationship between the characters of a story, the visualization of the magnificent landscapes described, and even the exciting journeys the characters take to different places keep us in suspense until the end. We rejoice for them, and we mourn with them. Sometimes we can feel that we live their lives through theirs.

 

Unfortunately, there are fewer romantic people now than hundreds of years ago. We live in a world of technology, where the main task is to move up the career ladder, improve your well-being, and see who’s texting or tweeting. Most people prefer to be realistic, not to soar in dreams and fantasies, because their task is to achieve their earthly goals.

 

But still, while there is romance, our human soul becomes alive. It becomes inspired. Thanks to romance, many literary works have been created that help us find our ideal state of mind, then strive for it. Romance is necessary for every person living on this planet. It helps in achieving goals and directs you to the true path. This feeling gives us invaluable experience and the opportunity to find our place in life.

 

Here are three reasons why romance remains important even after marriage:

 

1. Romance in marriage says, "You're just as important to me as you were the day we met!" Your partner wants to know that you are still worried about their happiness. They would like to know that you continue to notice the value he or she brings to your life. Romance drives your willingness to still make sacrifices for your loved one. For this reason, flowers and taking walks together are important. Lovers take their time spending their hard-earned money to buy a gift or organize an event for their spouse. What really matters is the intention.

 

2. Romanticism says: "I know you! "Everyone wants to know and be known. This is how God created us. And in marriage, we want to see the realization of this knowledge. Women don't just want flowers; they want you to know that they are your favorite flowers. And the husband doesn't just want sex, he wants to know that you still find him attractive and that you enjoy being around him. We all want our life partners to love us both inside and out. We want to know they appreciate us, even with our personality and our quirks. The Bible often uses the verb "know" as a euphemism for intimacy, and this gives marriage the status of a unique relationship. These two don't just know each other, but they really know each other well. They understand each other deeper, more intimately, and more personally than any other person on the planet. And this is much more than theoretical knowledge - it is knowledge at the level of the heart. How else can we express deep feelings of love other than through romance?

 

3. Romance indicates that you do not consider your partner's love to be only their responsibility. Marriage expert Dennis Rainey once said that “Marriage is like two boats in the ocean. If you turn off both engines, the boats will naturally move away from each other.” In the same way, in marriage, if the efforts to remain emotionally close (that is, with the engines running) are not made by both parties, one day, when the children are already grown and flown away, you may suddenly realize that you are strangers to each other. Romance gives the couple the opportunity to create special memories and strengthen the bond between them, so it will last for years; even when the children are no longer physically present to bond with.

 

So how do you add a touch of romance to a relationship? What can be romantic in a relationship depends on the personality and preferences of each partner.

 

To men, 1 Peter 3:7 says, that husbands are to “give honor to their wives”. This means knowing her favorite flowers and colors and being mindful of what makes her happy.

 

To women, Ephesians 5:33 says, “Let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Appreciate his hobbies and interests. Let him tell you what he likes and use that knowledge to show him how much you appreciate and respect him.

 

Romance takes work, sacrifice, and time, but these efforts have an enormous payoff. It may not seem to work for you at first, but your efforts to help your partner feel truly loved, honored, and respected will plant seeds of love that will bear fruit throughout your lifetimes.

 

Lovers By Design is a reader-supported publication. Please consider becoming a paid subscriber. Paid subscribers receive access to full articles and a free copy of our upcoming book, “Lovers By Design.”